Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

The next few weeks were a whirlwind of activity, from the presentation of the ring (a beautiful giant emerald surround by fifteen small diamonds), to announcing their engagement in the newspaper, to even planning their spring wedding. Mrs. Delaney was, as expected, absolutely thrilled with the match, and although Mr. Blackhorne was apparently too ill to meet Jessamina in person, James promised her that he sent his best wishes.

Jessamina, of course, thought that his “illness” had more to do with guilt than any actual disease. Even a horrible man like Mr. Blackhorne has a shred of decency left in him, and he probably felt bad that he had killed the father of his son’s fiance. But Jessamina had decided that he deserved forgiveness as much as anyone else. This was the stance that Jessamina had taken ever since her engagement. As long as he felt remorse for what he had done; if he was willing to let bygones be bygones, then so would she. And if he really was seriously ill, then all the better, for it meant that he would soon die without any interference on her end.

Finally, the big night arrived; not the wedding day, but the engagement dinner. Mrs. Delaney had invited her family members and all of her closest friends (and a few not-so-close friends who she wanted to brag to), and since Jessamina didn’t have any friends, the dinner was a pretty small affair.

“Are you sure you do not want to invite anyone, James?” James and Jessamina were riding in a carriage on the way to her house for the evening.
“I am sure, darling. This dinner should be about you and your family. I am afraid my relatives would make a bad impression.”
“What do you mean?”
“They’re very... selfish, Jessamina. None of them are too thrilled with this engagement, which of course, does not matter to me. They seem to think that they should choose my future spouse based on wealth and dowry. I, on the other hand, think otherwise.” He kissed her on the forehead. “Believe me, you would not want them to be here tonight. Although I was hoping my father would be able to make it tonight. I know how much you wanted to meet him finally.”
“Oh no, that’s alright.”
“But does not it seem strange to you that you are marrying me without even meeting my father?”

Jessamina didn’t know how to best answer that question. In fact, she didn’t truly know what the answer was. Would it be better for her to just forget about who James’ father was? Or would it better for her to see her enemy face to face in order to get some closure?
“Well, you are not very close to your father, are you?”
“I feel rather guilty, but no, I am not. I never have been close to him.”
“Then I feel no need to be close to him either.”
“You promise you are not angry?”
“I have no reason to want to meet him, James. I promise.”

They arrived at the Delaney’s house, nervous about their first semi-public appearance as a couple.
“You go in ahead of me, dear. I will put the carriage away.”
She entered the foyer and realized that this would be one of the last times she would be in this house. After all, once she was married, she had be living with the Blackhornes, and she probably would not return to this house for quite some time.

She stood with the door wide open, her eyes memorizing every detail around her. The grain of the oak floors, the flowered walls, the lace curtains framing the giant picture window across the hall. She ran her hand against the embossed “Delaney” on the silver tray used to collect calling cards. She closes her eyes and inhales the scent of rose and camomile potpourri and Mr. Shelby’s fine cigars.

“Jessamina?”

She opened her eyes and found herself face to face with Edmund, smiling at her as if he were the one about to marry her.

But her real fiance soon came into the house behind her, and Jessamina knew immediately that she had a problem: Edmund hadn’t been told about Jessamina’s engagement. Those two parts of her love life had previously not intersected, and she preferred that they stay that way. Unfortunately, there was no avoiding the inevitable, so she tried to handle the matter as delicately as possible.

“Mr. Triggs,” Jessamina said formally, “so good to see you.”
Edmund, who was obviously surprised by this shift in tone, managed to keep most of his bewilderment out of his voice. “Good to see you to, Miss Delaney.” Edmund replied. “Just dropping off a headache tonic for your mother. She claims the first one was too weak for her, and she wanted something stronger. Something she said would, ‘stun an ox.’”
“So you consented to giving her a tranquilizer?”
“Do not be ridiculous, Jessamina! I just let her think that she has something stronger. A mere placebo effect. You know I would never give her anything harmful.”
“Oh, thank you. Thant’s very kind of you, to look after my mother’s health that way.”
“Of course I would look after her.” Edmund looked genuinely confused as to why Jessamina seemed to have forgotten their long and storied history together, so Jessamina tried to change the subject.
“James, I would like you to meet Mr. Edmund Triggs.” They shook hands heartily. “Mr. Triggs was my father’s apprentice for many years, and he nows completely runs my father’s business. Mr. Triggs, this is Mr.--”
“Just call me James, Edmund!” James interrupted. “No need for formalities.”
“Yes, well, James is... my fiance.”

Jessamina watched Edmund’s face carefully for his reaction. She noticed he turned paler at the word ‘fiance’, and that his eyes widened when he saw her ornate ring. But his voice didn’t betray any of the emotions he might have been feeling, for he smiled and said, “Well, congratulations, Miss Delaney.” His eyes found hers, and she was surprised that there was no trace of malice in them. “You Have made a fine match, indeed.”

*****************************************

Even two months after her father’s death, there was very little that got Jessamina out of bed in the mornings. Sometimes the thought of another day without him paralyzed her completely, and she lay there, staring at the last remnants of her father’s birthday bouquets dying. Sometimes, she would wake up and go about her normal routine, but then a small object, such as a photograph or her brooch, would remind her of her loss.

The only person that could bring her out of her comatose state, that could awaken this sleeping beauty, was Edmund. Instead of their usual nighttime strolls, Edmund would sneak into her room and talk her to sleep. He would hold her hand and tell her stories about Glasren, and how beautiful it was there. He didn’t care how long it took for her to fall asleep; he would be there for her for as long as she needed him.

Once she was finally able to leave her house, she spent every waking moment at her father’s office, surrounding herself with familiar sights and smells. She kept herself busy by handling the money, finding the distraction of the customers to be a relief from the emptiness she felt inside. Edmund’s constant presence reminded her that life kept moving, and that not everything in her life had been destroyed.

But even that small comfort would not last forever. One day after closing for the night, Edmund pulled her aside to have a serious chat.

“Is something wrong, Edmund? You Have been acting strange all day.” she asked.
“Jessamina, I was looking at the account books today. And while your father was an honorable man, he tended to offer a lot of his services for free.”
“That’s because Father felt that medicine was a necessity that the poor deserved as well as the rich.”
“Yes, and I agree with his principles one hundred percent. But you have to realize that this means he does not have a lot money. He hadn’t saved up very much money to provide for you and your mother after his passing. Now, because of this, I have decided to stay and work here, and keep only my apprentice salary for myself. The rest of it I plan to give to you and your mother, so you can maintain the lifestyle you are accustomed to.”
“But what about opening your own practice in Glasren?”
“All the people I knew there have forgotten all about me. They Will survive just as they have for the past hundred years. The people I care about and you and your mother, and that means I need to stay here in London.”
“Well, that’s awfully nice of you, dear. It would have been hard on Mother to have her only daughter so far from home.”
“Jessamina, I do not think you understand. I am not... I can not marry anymore.”
“Pardon?”
“When I promised to marry you, I promised to be able to provide for you better than anyone else could. I promised to take you away from all this, so you could have a better life than the one you have now. But if I stay here, if I continue my work here in London, then I can not do that anymore. In fact, your life would be much worse if you were to marry me.”
“Edmund, you know I do not care about material things. I do not need a large house, or extravagant parties. I just need you.”
“You say that now, but in a few years you would realize what better marriage prospects you might have had.”
“Edmund, where is all this coming from? I love you!”
“And I love you. I love you enough to realize that you can marry much better men than me. Men who will love you just as much as I do, but can take you to the countryside when your health gets worse. Men with financial security. You deserve the world, Jessamina. And I can not give you that world, so I want you to find someone who can.”
“Think about what you are saying, Edmund! We’ve planned this for years--”
“I have thought about this for months, Jessamina. Believe me, it breaks my heart knowing that I will never be able to share that life in Glasren with you. But I will still be here in this shop to provide you with whatever guidance and support I can give you. I will never leave you. I want you to be happy.”
“If you wanted me to happy, you would not be saying any of this to me! You Would be saying that you are ready to spend the rest of your life with me!”
“Jessamina, you will thank me. In a few years, all of this will make sense to you, and you will realize that I did the right thing. In the meantime, I will be here for you as a friend and a brother, but nothing more. I am sorry.”

She stormed away from him, too angry to shed any tears for the new loss she had suffered. The remaining piece of her heart had been torn and smashed to bits, and all that was left was an empty hole in her chest where darkness remained.

She was certain she would never trust a man to love her again.
**********************************************************

As she stood in the hall of her home, Jessamina found that she wasn’t angry at Edmund anymore for what he did to her. He was right; she found an incredible man who loved her very much and would make sure that she was well taken care of for the rest of her life. In fact, she made a mental note with her mother to discuss Edmund’s salary. After all, with James providing for the both of them, Edmund could perhaps save up enough money to move back to Glasren and have the life he always wanted. He was kind man, and he deserved as much happiness as she had been shown in the past few months.

“Mr. Triggs has been a godsend to us, James,” Jessamina said, wanting to show Edmund that there were no more hard feelings between the two of them. He’s incredibly skilled in the medicinal arts, and I am sure my father would be very proud of him. We Delaneys are very grateful for all Mr. Triggs has done for us.”
“No need for gratitude,” Edmund insisted. “Your father took me in as practically one of his own. I am merely protecting the family I have.”

“Well, that is really touching, Edmund.” James said. “Say, do you make house calls? My father hates doctors with a fiery passion, but he has been so dreadfully ill recently that I feel I have no choice but to disobey his orders.”
“It would be my pleasure to observe him. When would you like me to visit him?”
“Oh, I will have to think about that. I want to be there when the visit happens, but my schedule has been rather busy lately. Once I figure something out, I will be sure to drop by one day and give you a more specific date.”
“Wonderful. I, of course, can not promise a cure, especially if he has had this ailment for quite some time. But, I can promise that I will try my best to help ease his pain.”

“Edmund?” Mrs. Delaney called from upstairs. “Edmund, are you still here?”
“Indeed I am, Mrs. Delaney. I have been chatting with your daughter and her new fiance.” Mrs. Delaney came down the stairs with an embarrassed look on her face.
“Oh, Edmund, I am so sorry! It completely slipped my mind to tell you about the engagement party we are having in their honor tonight. Would you like to join us for supper?”
“Oh, I am not sure that I should intrude on such a private matter.”
“Nonsense, dear boy! Of course you must join us!” She started making her way to the kitchen. “And thank you for that improved tonic; I can feel it working much better already.”

Edmund winked at Jessamina before heading for the front door.
“Are you really not staying, Mr. Triggs? You are more than welcome to join us, you know.”
“And give up such a fine meal? Certainly not! I simply feel rather underdressed for such an occasion.” he said, displaying his dirtied work shirt as an example.”If your mother asks, tell her I have gone back to my flat to change into something more suitable for an event of this magnitude. What time is supper starting?”
“Eight o’clock.” Jessamina answered.
“Then expect me no later than half past seven! I want to make sure I am available to help with whatever preparations are still needed.”

Edmund did as he promised, and returned quickly to help set up the dining room and pick up a few of the last deliveries. Jessamina marveled at how incredibly polite he was, despite their previous tiffs. She realized how horrible she had been to him over the past few years, and decided that she would mend their old friendship as soon as possible. It seemed a shame to throw away a relationship that took seven years to develop.

Dinner was everything Jessamina could have wanted. The dining room was filled with fresh flowers, and the ornate silver candlesticks shone brightly. The food was delicious and plentiful, and more importantly, all of her relatives took an immediate liking to James. If she had found him charismatic before, he was even more so that evening. He seemed to instinctively know what each person at the table was most insecure about, and then lavish praise upon that particular subject.

After dinner was served, James stood up to make a toast.

“I would like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you for being here tonight. You have each been invited because you hold a special place in my dear Jessamina’s heart, and you therefore hold a place in mine. I would also like to thank the beautiful and kind Mrs. Delaney, for planning this whole evening for us. She is truly an angel, and I can not wait for her to be the mother I have not had for a very long time.
“And now, I have to thank the reason we are all here, the light of my life, Jessamina. A few months ago, I was a wealthy cad who had no intention of settling down in the near future. I was a bachelor in every sense of the word, and I enjoyed every minute of it. But then I met Jessamina.” He looked down at her. “I met Jessamina, and my whole life changed. I knew immediately that she was the one for me. She taught me that life was too precious to spend alone. She showed me that life was a beautiful experience that was meant to be shared with others. And she is the one I want to share that experience with. Jessamina, I promise to be there for you in both the best and worst of times. I promise to be the first thing you see when you wake up in the morning, and the last thing you see before you fall asleep. You have brought a new purpose to my life and for that I will always be grateful.”

He raised his glass. “To Jessamina Elizabeth Delaney, the most extraordinary young lady on the entire planet.”

The rooms was filled with the tinkling of glasses being tapped together. James sat back down and kissed Jessamina on the cheek.

“That was a lovely speech you gave, James.”
“Yes, well, I meant nearly every word of it.”

Jessamina swatted James playfully on the arm, as he grinned at her.

“I, too, would like to make a toast.” Jessamina stood up and addressed the table. “To my wonderful fiance, James.
“My father is the best man I have ever known. He had a brilliant mind and a good heart. He offered his services to those who could not afford them, and never pressured them for payment. He even was his own apothecary, in order to cut down on costs for those who could afford to pay. He did everything he could to make life comfortable for not only his family, but every person he came in contact with.
“When he was killed... a part of me was killed also. My heart. My entire heart was gone, and I thought I would never get it back. I never cried for my loss; I simply could not feel anything anymore; neither happiness nor sadness. All I felt was anger. Anger towards the people who dared do this to my father.
“And then I met James. For years, I thought that it would be impossible for me to love again, but James taught me otherwise. I realized that it was impractical for me to be angry and bitter anymore. I had mourned for years, and never thought that I could do otherwise. James brought love back into my life, and you can not imagine how truly blessed I am to have him. He saved me from myself. So, thank you, James, for loving me and letting me love you.”

Another round of cheers and tinkling glasses were heard around the room. Jessamina sat back down, and continued the rest of the evening with James’ hand resting comfortably on hers.


As soon as dinner was over, James had to leave in order to check on his father. Jessamina wanted to stay and help tidy up, but both her mother and the rest of the servants refused to have her lift a finger. She reluctantly headed back up to her room when Edmund stopped her.

“Am I allowed to call you ‘Jessamina’ once more? Or should I continue to address you as ‘Miss Delaney’?” he asked.
“Of course you can call me ‘Jessamina’. You can even call me ‘Jessa’ if you like! Oh, I’m so sorry Edmund, I do not know why I felt the need to be formal.”
“It is perfectly understandable to want to present me as merely an acquaintance to your new fiance. I wouldn’t want to tarnish your reputation. You had every reason to treat me as such.”
“Thank you for being so understanding. Thank you for always being so understanding of me. You’ve always been so good to me , Edmund, and I feel absolutely dreadful about how I’ve treated you over the past few years. I’ve been nothing but selfish and angry about the way our... relationship ended. And I want to make it up to you. I talked to my mother about it before dinner this evening and she agreed... you should have full control of my father’s practice now.”
“What do you mean?”
“James can provide for my mother and I financially now. You can have the salary you deserve. And once you save up enough money, I think you should close up shop and move back to Glasren.”
“But your father’s practice! How can I--”
“My father would want to you to be happy, Edmund. He would understand. And it’s what you’ve always wanted, is it not? I remember how fondly you told stories about that place. How happy it made you to think of returning back to your birthplace. You deserve to have that happiness again, Edmund. And I will not take ‘no’ for an answer!”
“Well, I can not promise you I will accept your gracious offer. But thank you, Jessa. That really means a lot to me. And I just wanted to say, what a wonderful pair you and James make. He seems like a wonderful gentleman, and I am so happy to see you happy again. I thought that I would never see that beautiful smile of yours again, but you wore it all throughout dinner this evening.”
“He makes me feel--” Jessamina stopped. There was really no way to say what she was about to say delicately. “the way you did. When we were in love.”
Edmund nodded sympathetically. “Yes. Well, I should probably head back home now. Get a good night’s rest before opening tomorrow.”
“Yes, of course.” And in a gesture of complete reconciliation, she leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. “Good night, Edmund.”

He smiled shyly, and with a grab of his hat, he was out the door.

Jessamina went to sleep that night with dreams of moonlit strolls and carriage rides through the park. Gone were the nightmares she once had of being forced to watch her father’s brutal torture. They had all been replaced with dreams of James, and the exciting future they would have together. She had never slept more soundly in as far back as she could remember.