I Finished!!!!

Here is a link to each of the chapters, for your reading convenience!

Please note: this is by NO means a finished draft. There are huge grammatical errors, spelling mistakes, and probably plot holes (for instance, there is no flashback in Chapter Four yet). Also, the writing becomes less and less Victorian as the story progresses. Mostly because I ran out of time.

Enjoy!

Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER

DO NOT READ UNTIL YOU HAVE READ ALL OF THE OTHER CHAPTERS. MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!






Jessamina stood rooted to the spot, unable to take her eyes off of the gleaming weapon in Vincent’s hand.

“You look surprised, dear! Did you really never suspect me at all? Were you really that in love?” He sneered.

She shook her head repeatedly, still refusing to believe that she had fallen in love with a murderer like him.

“Jessamina, you are an incredibly remarkable woman. The way you managed to kill off some of our men, albeit not our most important, was incredible. Dare I say, respectable?” He grinned at her, his once perfect smile curling into an unrecognizable snarl. “Yes, using your father’s untraceable poison was very clever. After all, any man of any age could die of heart failure. And with no needle marks, the police never investigated any further. The Blue Pigeon Society is so large that even with five of its members gone, the committee simply declared the deaths ‘accidental’. Even I, who found the similar way in which they all perished to be suspicious, forgot about them after a time. You could have gone on for another year with your scheme without anyone noticing. But then, you had to make me your next target.”

Jessamina tried to grab something next to her for use as a weapon, but Vincent was too quick for her. He knocked her in the eye, causing her to fall against the nightstand and crash into the lantern. Cut and bleeding from the broken glass, she screamed in pain.

“Please, Jessamina, I really am much stronger than you. I hope you realize now that is rather senseless to try and fight me. Do not try me again.” He loomed over her body slumped on the floor. “Where was I? Oh, right, you somehow thought that you, a delicate flower of a girl, could outwit a killer like me! Ha! You may be very beautiful, Jessamina, but unlike you I am not immediately distracted by such trivialities as beauty, charm, and grace.”

“I am not sure I know what you mean--”

“Your brooch, Jessamina! I know what it does. When I found it that night at my ball, I noticed the little lever on the side. Curious as to what it would do, I took it outside on the balcony. I held my breath, of course, the moment the powder was expelled, but I immediately guessed what its use was. Of course, I knew that you might simply wear that brooch as a method of self-defense, but I was already suspicious. When I returned it to you and asked about my father, it wasn’t hard for me to put the pieces together. I knew your father was a skilled physician and apothecary, and I knew that you had access to things that could simulate heart failure. What I did not know, however, was how you managed to do such things without making puncture wounds.

“It was clear that you didn’t know my full name; clear that everyone previously had told you to call me James. You thought that my father was the killer, which also meant you had no idea how old and sickly he was. That was a relief, but you still knew too much. Being the man that I am, I wanted to dispose of you right away, but seeing as you are a respectable unmarried woman, I knew I could never get you alone without anyone noticing. So I did the next best thing: I distracted you. I found your imperfections and insecurities, and then I convinced you that they were all in your head. In other words, I did what I always do: I flirted. And you seemed so sincerely flattered and dazed by all the compliments, that I realized the best way to keep you off my tracks. I would make you fall so -- what did I say at the engagement dinner? Ah yes! So ‘completely and irrevocably’ in love with me, that you would forget all about your little plan.”

“Well, it worked.” Jessamina said, her face pinched with pain. “I did love you, James.”

“‘Vincent’, Jessamina. Let us not try and pretend we are anyone different than who we are. And it did work, for a time. You slowly stopped asking questions about my father, which meant that I was getting closer and closer to reaching my objective. I never planned to ever marry you. Even then I was going to court you until I was certain my leaving would cause you immense emotional distress. But when you said you did not want to see me anymore, I knew it was because you felt too guilty about wanting to hurt my father. I thought you had given up on your plan for fear of hurting me. So I thought no more about you.

“But then, you had to try again! You concocted that ridiculous scheme of trying to lure my father out of hiding. I watched from the window that day, when you disguised yourself as a messenger. My servant, because he is incredibly stupid, believed your disguise, but I saw right through it. When he told me about your untraceable poison and steam-inoculator, everything clicked into place. You had been using our own weapon against us! Genius! And what’s more, all it took was a simple medical tool to administer it. I knew I needed to have it, but I also knew that I needed you to be dead. You knew far too much and were far too dangerous to be let alone anymore.

“So I invited you to my Christmas Ball, assuming you would be too weak to decline an invitation. And then, I staged an impromptu proposal, which you immediately accepted without any hesitation. It was really almost too easy; now we could be alone together without any witnesses. Of course, I knew I needed to wait a while and establish our engagement before I killed you. Otherwise, the police would immediately mark me as their first suspect, and I did not need any more trouble than you were already causing me. I decided I would wait for a while, and then stage a kidnapping. I would pretend that I had been knocked unconscious from behind, and when I awoke, you were gone. And later, when they found your body cut up and thrown into the river, they would never expect the loving fiance, so overcome with grief that he had lost his one true love.

“So I waited. Waited for the day when you would let down your guard, allowing me to make my move. And today, my dear, just happens to be that day.”

He lunged forward, aiming for her throat, but she managed to roll her body out of the way just in time.

Jessamina struggled to speak. “I simply do not understand how you--”

“How I did it?” Vincent asked. “I made everybody believe that I was a bad liar. That I was a good person. Then, I had everyone, every last one, in the palm of my hand. Even you."

“I do not understand how you can kill innocent, remarkable men like my father and not feel any remorse for what you did.”
“Ha! Your father! Jessamina, your father was hardly innocent. He was a member of the Blue Pigeon Society, too!”
“Liar! I refuse to fall your tricks -- you simply want to mess with my mind!”
“Fine! Believe what you want. But do you think he never profited from our imports? How else do you think he got those rare herbs or those rare presents for you and your mother?”
“Certainly not by any illegal means! He was a good man who saved the lives of many men--”
“And yet made us the poison after all! Really, Jessamina, did you never stop to consider why he had so many vials of that poison saved up? He was cowardly and broke his promise at the last minute. He broke the rules. And we all know what happens to those who break the rules.”

He sliced once more, sending a searing pain down Jessamina’s arm. The pain was too much for her to handle; she heard herself screaming as the cuts were being made to someone else’s body, as if she were merely an outsider observing the scene.

“Jessa!” A voice yelled from down the stairs. She knew immediately that it was Edmund; he had come to save her. She scrambled to get to her feet, to make it the door, but he yanked her back by the hair, causing her to cry out in pain.

Edmund ran in, medical case in hand, and stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of Vincent holding a knife to Jessamina’s bare throat. She trembled with fear beneath his strong hold.

“Edmund, what an unexpected surprise! I forgot that I had told you to come today. I am afraid that other plans have gotten in the way of our little...medical session.”

Edmund took one step towards Jessamina, but Vincent merely pressed the knife harder into Jessamina’s throat, causing her to gag.

“One more step and I swear I will have you watch as I kill her.” Vincent growled. Edmund froze, terror in his eyes at the thought of Jessamina being harmed any more than she already had been.

“Did you bring the steam-inoculator, as I told you earlier?” Vincent asked.
Jessamina groaned, knowing exactly why Vincent had called Edmund here. He wanted the weapon of his dreams, and asking Edmund to visit the sickly Mr. Blackhorne was the perfect excuse to get it.

“Edmund,” Jessamina whispered. “Please forgive me. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to drag you into this mess.”
“Jessa, what are you talking about?” Edmund asked. “Why is he hurting you?”

“Are you really pretending that you do not know the reason you are here?” Vincent laughed. “I know what your involvement in all of this is! Jessamina gave me your address--”
“He knows nothing, I promise!” Jessamina insisted. “I merely gave you his address because I know you would recognize my own. He knows nothing of what I have been doing these past few years!”
“Do you really expect me to believe he never noticed that his steam-inoculator kept disappearing? Or that vials of poison were being stolen from his store?”

“Just let her go!” Edmund pleaded. “Take whatever you need -- money, medicine, my steam-inoculator. Kill me if you have to! Just please, let her live.”

“Well, isn’t this touching?” Vincent asked with mock sympathy. “I always suspected you were in love with her.”

“Of course I love her! I have. I will. I do. It is the simple truth of she and I.”

Edmund looked at Jessamina with such pain in his eyes that she wanted to reach out and touch him, but she immediately felt herself restrained again. She winced at how every movement made the gashes on her arms and legs burn with greater intensity. She felt herself growing woozy with the pain.

“Here,” Edmund continued, “If you want the steam-inoculator, you can have it.” He slowly opened his bag and pulled out the heavy brass contraption, careful not to make any movements that might cause Vincent to panic. He held the device out to him. “Here. Take it.”

And, almost as if in a dream, time slowed as Jessamina watched the steam-inoculator slip out of Edmund’s fingers and tumble downwards. It crashed with a loud thud and began to hum violently.

Vincent started at the noise. This was her only chance. She reached her hand up to the knife and pulled it away from him. And the moment he lunged towards her, with his piercing blue eyes so violent and full of hatred --

She thrust the knife into his stomach several times, not even aware of her surroundings anymore. All she knew was that she would never let this man hurt her ever again. His face grow slack and still, and he fell to the floor in a heap in front of her. As her knife clattered to the floor, she was snapped back to reality.

Up until this point, all of the murders she had committed were clean and elegant. They were barely murders at all; just the quick stopping of a heartbeat. She was hardly responsible for the deaths of all those people; she let the poison do the work for her.

But now she was covered in his blood. The blood of the man who she trusted; who had told her he loved her and who she had loved. The blood of the man who hadn’t killed her right away, like she almost wished he did, but instead led her to believe that she had found happiness. A man who dared to tell her that her father...

It was too much for her to handle. She staggered backwards until she found a wall, and then slid down it, leaving a smear of both Vincent’s blood and her own on the wall.

Edmund rushed towards her and knelt by her side.

There were no words anymore. No words to tell him how she was feeling.

So, as Edmund held her in his arms, Jessamina Elizabeth Delaney cried for the very first time since her father died.

THE END

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

A week later, Jessamina awoke to find James unexpectedly downstairs. She walked downstairs in her wrapper, thinking that there would be no calls made that day, but as soon as she entered the drawing room, she encountered James talking to her mother. They both turned towards her as she protectively covered herself with her arms. Mrs. Delaney is utterly shocked and disappointed by Jessamina’s disheveled appearance, but James merely grins and gives a slow whistle.

“I’m sorry, James, she isn’t normally this exposed. She simply wasn’t expecting any visitors.” Mrs. Delaney hastily explained.
“Understandable. I suppose this will be a common sight once we get married then?”

Jessamina blushed. “Certainly not. You should have told me you were coming.”
“I decided I would surprise you with a picnic lunch is the park today. The sun is out and the weather is surprising warm today. Go get dressed and we’ll leave at once!”

Jessamina ran upstairs, eager to get out of the house after several days of dreary rain. James was never one to plan these impromptu events, but Jessamina supposed that he was simply as eager to spend some time with her as she was with him. After all, now that they were engaged, Jessamina was allowed to be alone with him without a chaperone. After having to hide her relationship with Edmund for so long, Jessamina loved the idea of being able to publicly express some affection to her fiance.

The final touch to all of her outfits was her cameo brooch, but Jessamina found herself hesitating to wear it this afternoon. After all, she felt safe with James by her side. And now that her murderous days were over, there was no need for its hidden use anymore. She decided to leave it in its special place and keep it only as a reminder of her father, rather than as a weapon. In fact, as soon as she could, she would try to figure out a way to disable its dispersion system.

James had been right about the weather; London had not had such a perfectly blue sky in months. They sat on a grassy field in the middle of Hyde Park, watching a group of small children frolic a few meters away from them.

“You are not wearing your brooch today.” James said with surprise.
“Oh, you noticed!”
“I thought you said that you wore it every day.”
“Well, yes, I used to. But today I decided I would rather not.”
“I see.” he paused. “If I may be so bold, why did you decide not to wear it.”
“Why does it matter?”
“I am simply curious. The entire time that I have known you, I have never seen you without it. And you said it holds great sentimental value for you, does it not?”
“It does. My father gave it to me. I wore it previously because it made me feel... safe. I felt as if every time I wore, he was there with me, in spirit.” She smiled up at him. “But now I have you to keep me safe, and I don’t need his protection anymore. I might still wear it from time to time, but I have no need for its constant presence on my person anymore. Does that make sense?”
“Yes, it does. I apologize if it was rude of me to ask. I just... over the past few days I have started to think about my own relationship with my father. What it means to me. And I remembered your brooch, and how you had a keepsake to remember him by. But I don’t have anything of that sort from my father, and I wonder whether or not it is because I do not deserve one.”
“Why, you don’t need one, James! Think of everything else he’s given you.”
“Yes, but my father has never really given me something form his heart. Something that had a special meaning to him that he wanted to pass down from generation to generation. I never had a good relationship with my father, and with his health as horrible as it is... I am not certain if I will ever get a chance to mend it.”
“Has his condition deteriorated?”
“I am not even certain he will make it through till Sunday.”
“James! Why are you not there with him now? You should spend every waking moment you have with him. Try to remember every detail of these last few days. I barely remember anything of my last interaction with my father, and that pains me a great deal. You should try to make amends with him while you can.”
“Would you like to meet him, Jessamina?”
“Who? Your father?”
“I know that you have wanted to meet him for some time now; after all, you were always asking about him when we first met. Edmund came in to observe him the other day, and he said that whatever ails my father is not a contagious disease. And you said yourself that this may be the last chance.”

Jessamina thought about what James was asking of her. On the one hand, actually meeting Vincent Blackhorne could be too much for her to handle; while she may not have wanted to kill him anymore, she would never forget what his father had done to destroy her life. On the other hand, meeting him may give her the closure she needed. If she could have a few words with him, alone, perhaps she could finally get some peace of mind.

“May I speak to him alone?” she asked.
“Certainly. Then you’ll meet him?”
“Yes. I think I would like that.”

They packed up their lunch as quickly as they could and rode back to the Blackhorne residence. As soon as they arrived, James let Jessamina stand in the garden while he put away the carriage.

Jessamina still could not believe that she would soon be living in this magnificent place. Soon, she would be able to spend her afternoons reading in the quiet solitude of the flowers and topiaries lining their estate. She could relax by the fountain and have the sounds of rushing water lull her to sleep. And during the warm summer nights, she could simply sit with her husband and stare at the bright stars in the heavens above them. She almost wanted to elope with James just so she would have to wait until June to start this new blissful chapter of her life. Of course, she knew that their families wouldn’t approve of such things, and she was looking forward to having a lovely reception. Still, she wished that the time would just fly by so her wedding day would come sooner.

“Are you ready, dear?” James asked as he approached from the stables.
“Ready as I will ever be, I suppose. But James, are you certain he is not too weak to be having this visit? Should I not come back another day?
“Believe me, today is a perfect day for you to meet him.” He led her inside the house. “I sent all the servants home today. They have all been working so hard to keep my father comfortable that I thought it best to give them the day off to rest.”
“How sweet of you, James! I am sure they were very appreciative.”

They continued their journey up the spiral staircase in the main part of the house. Jessamina had never been anywhere except the front hall and the ballroom, so she found this experience incredibly exciting. She stopped in front of a portrait of a young woman.

“James, who is this?”
“My mother. It was painted a year or so before she passed away. It is, I believe, the last portrait ever taken of her.”

The woman in the painting was tall and majestic looking, with long flaming red hair flowing down to her waist. She seemed to stare directly at Jessamina with a frightening intensity, her blue eyes piercing the canvas.

“She’s beautiful.” Jessamina whispered.
“Yes. She was.”
“How did she die?”
“I would rather not talk about it.” James said, his voice suddenly turning cold.

Jessamina whirled around in horror. “Oh, James! How careless of me to ask something of so sensitive a subject! I am so sorry!”
“No need, to apologize, Jessamina. My father is in that room at the top of the stairs. I will leave you alone to talk to him for a few minutes.”
“James--”
“I have something I have to take care of, Jessamina. You did want to speak to him alone, did you not?”

Not wanting to anger James anymore, she simply nodded and proceeded up the long staircase. She would apologize again to him fully later, and she was certain he would forgive her.

She finally entered the room, careful not to make the door creak too loudly. The room was windowless and incredibly dark, with a few measly candles illuminating the bed. She immediately was overcome with a horrible pungent stench, and she had to hold a handkerchief up to her nose in order to keep from gagging. She felt herself growing dizzy from the all too familiar nauseating aroma of death.

*********************************************************

Jessamina’s grandfather on her father’s side is the first person that she can truly remember dying. What’s more, it was the first death she ever witnessed.

She was thirteen years old, and even though she knew her father’s occupation involved helping some very sick people, it never once occurred to her that any of those people might die. Dying was something that happened to other people on other streets; in her world, everyone would live forever and nothing could possibly change that fact of life.

Imagine, then, her surprise when her father told her that Grandfather would very soon be meeting God in heaven, and that she and her mother would be accompanying him to Surrey for a final goodbye. Certainly a man as kindly and as wise as her Grandfather wouldn’t leaving the earth so quickly; he had so much more advice and wisdom to offer to his family. She was certain that her father would be mistaken, but having never travelled outside of the city, she agreed to the trip immediately.

The journey was long and arduous; a three days journey by carriage with only stops along the way for sleeping. Jessamina noticed that her parents seemed much more reserved and quiet than usual. They constantly fought over the smallest things, and the arguments usually ended with her mother crying and her father staring desolately out the window. She assumed it was because they were as frustrated as she was about the length of the trip, not realizing that their stress was brought on by a more pressing matter.

When they finally arrived, Jessamina immediately noticed the eerie quietness surrounding the house. It was as if they had entered some sort of strange invisible soundproof room; the clocks didn’t tick, the wind didn’t rustle the trees. Everything was still.

Being in the same room as her grandfather was even worse. Her father had entered the room immediately and began unpacking his bag, but Jessamina merely stood at the entrance way, too appalled to want to move any closer. The room smelled like damp sheets and camphor oil. It was clear that the windows hadn’t been opened for fear of him catching a cold; the room was hot and humid, only intensifying the smell tenfold. She hadn’t even noticed that her Grandfather was in the room until the silence was suddenly pierced with weak labored breaths. She slowly walked towards the bed.

She couldn’t believe that the small, pale man in front of her could actually be her grandfather. He looked like a child, barely taking up any room on his bed. The sheets around him pooled around him, leaving only his upper body exposed. His eyes were were clouded over with a film, and his eyes were so sunken into their sockets that he seemed to almost have hollow spaces there. His skin, so translucent you could see perfectly all his veins, seemed so fragile that she was afraid to touch him for fear of ripping his skin.

“Father? Save him!” Jessamina whined.
“My dear, there is unfortunately nothing that can be done for him. He is sixty years old now, and too old to have fought off this infection by himself. I am afraid we arrived to late to help him. All I can do is keep him comfortable now, and hope he goes painlessly.” Mr. Delaney went to his father’s side and delicately injected him with some morphine. After only a few seconds, the raspy, shaking breaths became smooth and even. Mr. Delaney sighed, seeming pleased that there was at least something he could do to help his ailing father.
“Can he not hear us speak to him?” Jessamina asked.
“It is possible, but very unlikely. He is probably unconscious right now, slipping in and out of lucidity.”

They stood there in silence for a few minutes just watching the old man’s chest rising at slowly decreasing intervals. Jessamina slowly felt the tears drip down her face, refusing to wipe them away.

“Jessamina,” he said softly. She ran towards him and buried her head in his chest. “I know this must be very difficult for you. You are very young; too young to have experienced death before. But know this; death does not have to be a bad thing.”
“Of course it does! He’s leaving us forever, Father!”
“That may be so, but he is going to heaven now to be with others who love him just as much as we do. He is leaving this world to go to a better one. We shouldn’t pity him; we should be happy that he won’t be in any more pain or unhappiness once he gets there. And even when he isn’t here with us physically, he will always be with us.”
“In our hearts?”
“Everywhere, Jessamina. In the sunsets, in the moon, in the stars, in the wind. Just as God is everywhere, so are the spirits of our loved ones.”
“Are you sure?”
“I am positive, Jessamina. Even in our darkest times, we are never truly alone; we are merely unable to see our supporters.”

Jessamina and her parents sat there in that musky room for the next two days, each taking turns to hold his hand. And on the last day, they all gathered around him and watched as he took his final quiet breath. He looked so peacefully finally that Jessamina actually smiled, glad he was in a better place.

She wished she could feel the same way about her father.

************************************************

The situation felt so incredibly familiar that she knew instictively that Vincent Blackhorne’s days were drawing near. She felt guilty at how relieved she was that he would die soon. The death would not have to be on her conscious, and yet she knew that this cruel man would never be able to harm anyone ever again. She listened for the tell-tale rattling breaths, but realized that Edmund must have given him the same injecting her grandfather had been given; all was quiet.

She had already come within six feet from the foot of the bed, and she dared not go any further. She wasn’t sure if she could look him in the eyes. Instead, she decided to give her speech from her current position.

“Mr. Blackhorne,” she said. “I am not sure if you can hear me right now, but if you can hear me, please do not talk until I have finished saying everything I need to say to you.” She paused, taking a deep breath before beginning again.

“You know who I am, Mr. Blackhorne, just as I know who you are. I know that you are a hired enforcer for the blue pigeon society. I know that when you are given orders to torture someone for information, or kill them for disobeying the committee, you do so without hesitation. That is your job, and I doubt you have any remorse for what you have done.

“I, too, had never any remorse for the people I had killed. That is one thing that you and I had in common, Mr. Blackhorne. But they had destroyed one of the few people in my life I ever cared about, and they deserved to be punished for their ill deeds. I considered what I did to be a service to humankind; after all, they profited from illegal activities and killed those who dared to do the right thing. You simply killed for money you never even needed. That I thought, was our main difference; the reasons for why we chose to end other people’s lives.

“But when I met your son, I realized that although I should detest and despise you so much more that the rest, I simply could not. I love your son too much to harbor that much ill will against his closest kin.

“I do not forgive you for what you have done, Mr. Blackhorne. And I never will. I will never be sorry that you are dead. But I hope you understand that I am here to make peace with you. That is to say, I will take good cafe of your son. I will be a good wife to him. And I will never love your son any less for what you have done.”

She waited for any sort of response, but there was no sign that he had heard any of it. Even if he hadn’t been awake, Jessamina felt that a great weight had been lifted off of her chest; but the room was eerily quiet.

She listened more intensely, and realized that there was more to the quiet than she originally expected. In fact, there was no sign of breathing at all. From the way the blanket covered the body, she could tell that his chest wasn’t moving. Vincent Blackhorne was dead, and she had been in the room while it happened.

She felt so calmed by this recent observation that she decided she did want to see Vincent Blackhorne’s face after all. She slowly approach the left-hand side of the bed, expecting the worst.

But Vincent looked strangely peaceful, just like her grandfather did when he passed away. She could tell that they were about the same age based on the deep wrinkles around the mouth and eyes. Their skin had the same milky transparency and softness. Nothing seemed different about Mr. Blackhorne’s death than the death of any man who had lived a long life.

Something immediately felt wrong about this revelation, Jessamina decided. She had been told that Vincent Blackhorne was a deadly killer, with awesome strength and a brutality that made even The Committee shake in terror.
Yet here lay Vincent Blackhorne before her, and he appeared to be nearly sixty years old; surely even three years ago he would not have been strong enough to kill her father.

“How is this possible?” she muttered.

“How is it possible that he could have killed your father?”

Jessamina whirled around, startled by the voice. James was standing in the doorway, his hands clasped behind his back.

“Jessamina, now that we are engaged to be married, I have something I need to confess to you.”

“James?” she said weakly, suddenly very aware of how dark and cold his eyes were. He chuckled.

“Close, my dear. My full name is Vincent James Blackhorne IV.”

He pulled a gleaming razor from behind his back.

“And you really should not have tried to find me.”

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

The next few weeks were a whirlwind of activity, from the presentation of the ring (a beautiful giant emerald surround by fifteen small diamonds), to announcing their engagement in the newspaper, to even planning their spring wedding. Mrs. Delaney was, as expected, absolutely thrilled with the match, and although Mr. Blackhorne was apparently too ill to meet Jessamina in person, James promised her that he sent his best wishes.

Jessamina, of course, thought that his “illness” had more to do with guilt than any actual disease. Even a horrible man like Mr. Blackhorne has a shred of decency left in him, and he probably felt bad that he had killed the father of his son’s fiance. But Jessamina had decided that he deserved forgiveness as much as anyone else. This was the stance that Jessamina had taken ever since her engagement. As long as he felt remorse for what he had done; if he was willing to let bygones be bygones, then so would she. And if he really was seriously ill, then all the better, for it meant that he would soon die without any interference on her end.

Finally, the big night arrived; not the wedding day, but the engagement dinner. Mrs. Delaney had invited her family members and all of her closest friends (and a few not-so-close friends who she wanted to brag to), and since Jessamina didn’t have any friends, the dinner was a pretty small affair.

“Are you sure you do not want to invite anyone, James?” James and Jessamina were riding in a carriage on the way to her house for the evening.
“I am sure, darling. This dinner should be about you and your family. I am afraid my relatives would make a bad impression.”
“What do you mean?”
“They’re very... selfish, Jessamina. None of them are too thrilled with this engagement, which of course, does not matter to me. They seem to think that they should choose my future spouse based on wealth and dowry. I, on the other hand, think otherwise.” He kissed her on the forehead. “Believe me, you would not want them to be here tonight. Although I was hoping my father would be able to make it tonight. I know how much you wanted to meet him finally.”
“Oh no, that’s alright.”
“But does not it seem strange to you that you are marrying me without even meeting my father?”

Jessamina didn’t know how to best answer that question. In fact, she didn’t truly know what the answer was. Would it be better for her to just forget about who James’ father was? Or would it better for her to see her enemy face to face in order to get some closure?
“Well, you are not very close to your father, are you?”
“I feel rather guilty, but no, I am not. I never have been close to him.”
“Then I feel no need to be close to him either.”
“You promise you are not angry?”
“I have no reason to want to meet him, James. I promise.”

They arrived at the Delaney’s house, nervous about their first semi-public appearance as a couple.
“You go in ahead of me, dear. I will put the carriage away.”
She entered the foyer and realized that this would be one of the last times she would be in this house. After all, once she was married, she had be living with the Blackhornes, and she probably would not return to this house for quite some time.

She stood with the door wide open, her eyes memorizing every detail around her. The grain of the oak floors, the flowered walls, the lace curtains framing the giant picture window across the hall. She ran her hand against the embossed “Delaney” on the silver tray used to collect calling cards. She closes her eyes and inhales the scent of rose and camomile potpourri and Mr. Shelby’s fine cigars.

“Jessamina?”

She opened her eyes and found herself face to face with Edmund, smiling at her as if he were the one about to marry her.

But her real fiance soon came into the house behind her, and Jessamina knew immediately that she had a problem: Edmund hadn’t been told about Jessamina’s engagement. Those two parts of her love life had previously not intersected, and she preferred that they stay that way. Unfortunately, there was no avoiding the inevitable, so she tried to handle the matter as delicately as possible.

“Mr. Triggs,” Jessamina said formally, “so good to see you.”
Edmund, who was obviously surprised by this shift in tone, managed to keep most of his bewilderment out of his voice. “Good to see you to, Miss Delaney.” Edmund replied. “Just dropping off a headache tonic for your mother. She claims the first one was too weak for her, and she wanted something stronger. Something she said would, ‘stun an ox.’”
“So you consented to giving her a tranquilizer?”
“Do not be ridiculous, Jessamina! I just let her think that she has something stronger. A mere placebo effect. You know I would never give her anything harmful.”
“Oh, thank you. Thant’s very kind of you, to look after my mother’s health that way.”
“Of course I would look after her.” Edmund looked genuinely confused as to why Jessamina seemed to have forgotten their long and storied history together, so Jessamina tried to change the subject.
“James, I would like you to meet Mr. Edmund Triggs.” They shook hands heartily. “Mr. Triggs was my father’s apprentice for many years, and he nows completely runs my father’s business. Mr. Triggs, this is Mr.--”
“Just call me James, Edmund!” James interrupted. “No need for formalities.”
“Yes, well, James is... my fiance.”

Jessamina watched Edmund’s face carefully for his reaction. She noticed he turned paler at the word ‘fiance’, and that his eyes widened when he saw her ornate ring. But his voice didn’t betray any of the emotions he might have been feeling, for he smiled and said, “Well, congratulations, Miss Delaney.” His eyes found hers, and she was surprised that there was no trace of malice in them. “You Have made a fine match, indeed.”

*****************************************

Even two months after her father’s death, there was very little that got Jessamina out of bed in the mornings. Sometimes the thought of another day without him paralyzed her completely, and she lay there, staring at the last remnants of her father’s birthday bouquets dying. Sometimes, she would wake up and go about her normal routine, but then a small object, such as a photograph or her brooch, would remind her of her loss.

The only person that could bring her out of her comatose state, that could awaken this sleeping beauty, was Edmund. Instead of their usual nighttime strolls, Edmund would sneak into her room and talk her to sleep. He would hold her hand and tell her stories about Glasren, and how beautiful it was there. He didn’t care how long it took for her to fall asleep; he would be there for her for as long as she needed him.

Once she was finally able to leave her house, she spent every waking moment at her father’s office, surrounding herself with familiar sights and smells. She kept herself busy by handling the money, finding the distraction of the customers to be a relief from the emptiness she felt inside. Edmund’s constant presence reminded her that life kept moving, and that not everything in her life had been destroyed.

But even that small comfort would not last forever. One day after closing for the night, Edmund pulled her aside to have a serious chat.

“Is something wrong, Edmund? You Have been acting strange all day.” she asked.
“Jessamina, I was looking at the account books today. And while your father was an honorable man, he tended to offer a lot of his services for free.”
“That’s because Father felt that medicine was a necessity that the poor deserved as well as the rich.”
“Yes, and I agree with his principles one hundred percent. But you have to realize that this means he does not have a lot money. He hadn’t saved up very much money to provide for you and your mother after his passing. Now, because of this, I have decided to stay and work here, and keep only my apprentice salary for myself. The rest of it I plan to give to you and your mother, so you can maintain the lifestyle you are accustomed to.”
“But what about opening your own practice in Glasren?”
“All the people I knew there have forgotten all about me. They Will survive just as they have for the past hundred years. The people I care about and you and your mother, and that means I need to stay here in London.”
“Well, that’s awfully nice of you, dear. It would have been hard on Mother to have her only daughter so far from home.”
“Jessamina, I do not think you understand. I am not... I can not marry anymore.”
“Pardon?”
“When I promised to marry you, I promised to be able to provide for you better than anyone else could. I promised to take you away from all this, so you could have a better life than the one you have now. But if I stay here, if I continue my work here in London, then I can not do that anymore. In fact, your life would be much worse if you were to marry me.”
“Edmund, you know I do not care about material things. I do not need a large house, or extravagant parties. I just need you.”
“You say that now, but in a few years you would realize what better marriage prospects you might have had.”
“Edmund, where is all this coming from? I love you!”
“And I love you. I love you enough to realize that you can marry much better men than me. Men who will love you just as much as I do, but can take you to the countryside when your health gets worse. Men with financial security. You deserve the world, Jessamina. And I can not give you that world, so I want you to find someone who can.”
“Think about what you are saying, Edmund! We’ve planned this for years--”
“I have thought about this for months, Jessamina. Believe me, it breaks my heart knowing that I will never be able to share that life in Glasren with you. But I will still be here in this shop to provide you with whatever guidance and support I can give you. I will never leave you. I want you to be happy.”
“If you wanted me to happy, you would not be saying any of this to me! You Would be saying that you are ready to spend the rest of your life with me!”
“Jessamina, you will thank me. In a few years, all of this will make sense to you, and you will realize that I did the right thing. In the meantime, I will be here for you as a friend and a brother, but nothing more. I am sorry.”

She stormed away from him, too angry to shed any tears for the new loss she had suffered. The remaining piece of her heart had been torn and smashed to bits, and all that was left was an empty hole in her chest where darkness remained.

She was certain she would never trust a man to love her again.
**********************************************************

As she stood in the hall of her home, Jessamina found that she wasn’t angry at Edmund anymore for what he did to her. He was right; she found an incredible man who loved her very much and would make sure that she was well taken care of for the rest of her life. In fact, she made a mental note with her mother to discuss Edmund’s salary. After all, with James providing for the both of them, Edmund could perhaps save up enough money to move back to Glasren and have the life he always wanted. He was kind man, and he deserved as much happiness as she had been shown in the past few months.

“Mr. Triggs has been a godsend to us, James,” Jessamina said, wanting to show Edmund that there were no more hard feelings between the two of them. He’s incredibly skilled in the medicinal arts, and I am sure my father would be very proud of him. We Delaneys are very grateful for all Mr. Triggs has done for us.”
“No need for gratitude,” Edmund insisted. “Your father took me in as practically one of his own. I am merely protecting the family I have.”

“Well, that is really touching, Edmund.” James said. “Say, do you make house calls? My father hates doctors with a fiery passion, but he has been so dreadfully ill recently that I feel I have no choice but to disobey his orders.”
“It would be my pleasure to observe him. When would you like me to visit him?”
“Oh, I will have to think about that. I want to be there when the visit happens, but my schedule has been rather busy lately. Once I figure something out, I will be sure to drop by one day and give you a more specific date.”
“Wonderful. I, of course, can not promise a cure, especially if he has had this ailment for quite some time. But, I can promise that I will try my best to help ease his pain.”

“Edmund?” Mrs. Delaney called from upstairs. “Edmund, are you still here?”
“Indeed I am, Mrs. Delaney. I have been chatting with your daughter and her new fiance.” Mrs. Delaney came down the stairs with an embarrassed look on her face.
“Oh, Edmund, I am so sorry! It completely slipped my mind to tell you about the engagement party we are having in their honor tonight. Would you like to join us for supper?”
“Oh, I am not sure that I should intrude on such a private matter.”
“Nonsense, dear boy! Of course you must join us!” She started making her way to the kitchen. “And thank you for that improved tonic; I can feel it working much better already.”

Edmund winked at Jessamina before heading for the front door.
“Are you really not staying, Mr. Triggs? You are more than welcome to join us, you know.”
“And give up such a fine meal? Certainly not! I simply feel rather underdressed for such an occasion.” he said, displaying his dirtied work shirt as an example.”If your mother asks, tell her I have gone back to my flat to change into something more suitable for an event of this magnitude. What time is supper starting?”
“Eight o’clock.” Jessamina answered.
“Then expect me no later than half past seven! I want to make sure I am available to help with whatever preparations are still needed.”

Edmund did as he promised, and returned quickly to help set up the dining room and pick up a few of the last deliveries. Jessamina marveled at how incredibly polite he was, despite their previous tiffs. She realized how horrible she had been to him over the past few years, and decided that she would mend their old friendship as soon as possible. It seemed a shame to throw away a relationship that took seven years to develop.

Dinner was everything Jessamina could have wanted. The dining room was filled with fresh flowers, and the ornate silver candlesticks shone brightly. The food was delicious and plentiful, and more importantly, all of her relatives took an immediate liking to James. If she had found him charismatic before, he was even more so that evening. He seemed to instinctively know what each person at the table was most insecure about, and then lavish praise upon that particular subject.

After dinner was served, James stood up to make a toast.

“I would like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you for being here tonight. You have each been invited because you hold a special place in my dear Jessamina’s heart, and you therefore hold a place in mine. I would also like to thank the beautiful and kind Mrs. Delaney, for planning this whole evening for us. She is truly an angel, and I can not wait for her to be the mother I have not had for a very long time.
“And now, I have to thank the reason we are all here, the light of my life, Jessamina. A few months ago, I was a wealthy cad who had no intention of settling down in the near future. I was a bachelor in every sense of the word, and I enjoyed every minute of it. But then I met Jessamina.” He looked down at her. “I met Jessamina, and my whole life changed. I knew immediately that she was the one for me. She taught me that life was too precious to spend alone. She showed me that life was a beautiful experience that was meant to be shared with others. And she is the one I want to share that experience with. Jessamina, I promise to be there for you in both the best and worst of times. I promise to be the first thing you see when you wake up in the morning, and the last thing you see before you fall asleep. You have brought a new purpose to my life and for that I will always be grateful.”

He raised his glass. “To Jessamina Elizabeth Delaney, the most extraordinary young lady on the entire planet.”

The rooms was filled with the tinkling of glasses being tapped together. James sat back down and kissed Jessamina on the cheek.

“That was a lovely speech you gave, James.”
“Yes, well, I meant nearly every word of it.”

Jessamina swatted James playfully on the arm, as he grinned at her.

“I, too, would like to make a toast.” Jessamina stood up and addressed the table. “To my wonderful fiance, James.
“My father is the best man I have ever known. He had a brilliant mind and a good heart. He offered his services to those who could not afford them, and never pressured them for payment. He even was his own apothecary, in order to cut down on costs for those who could afford to pay. He did everything he could to make life comfortable for not only his family, but every person he came in contact with.
“When he was killed... a part of me was killed also. My heart. My entire heart was gone, and I thought I would never get it back. I never cried for my loss; I simply could not feel anything anymore; neither happiness nor sadness. All I felt was anger. Anger towards the people who dared do this to my father.
“And then I met James. For years, I thought that it would be impossible for me to love again, but James taught me otherwise. I realized that it was impractical for me to be angry and bitter anymore. I had mourned for years, and never thought that I could do otherwise. James brought love back into my life, and you can not imagine how truly blessed I am to have him. He saved me from myself. So, thank you, James, for loving me and letting me love you.”

Another round of cheers and tinkling glasses were heard around the room. Jessamina sat back down, and continued the rest of the evening with James’ hand resting comfortably on hers.


As soon as dinner was over, James had to leave in order to check on his father. Jessamina wanted to stay and help tidy up, but both her mother and the rest of the servants refused to have her lift a finger. She reluctantly headed back up to her room when Edmund stopped her.

“Am I allowed to call you ‘Jessamina’ once more? Or should I continue to address you as ‘Miss Delaney’?” he asked.
“Of course you can call me ‘Jessamina’. You can even call me ‘Jessa’ if you like! Oh, I’m so sorry Edmund, I do not know why I felt the need to be formal.”
“It is perfectly understandable to want to present me as merely an acquaintance to your new fiance. I wouldn’t want to tarnish your reputation. You had every reason to treat me as such.”
“Thank you for being so understanding. Thank you for always being so understanding of me. You’ve always been so good to me , Edmund, and I feel absolutely dreadful about how I’ve treated you over the past few years. I’ve been nothing but selfish and angry about the way our... relationship ended. And I want to make it up to you. I talked to my mother about it before dinner this evening and she agreed... you should have full control of my father’s practice now.”
“What do you mean?”
“James can provide for my mother and I financially now. You can have the salary you deserve. And once you save up enough money, I think you should close up shop and move back to Glasren.”
“But your father’s practice! How can I--”
“My father would want to you to be happy, Edmund. He would understand. And it’s what you’ve always wanted, is it not? I remember how fondly you told stories about that place. How happy it made you to think of returning back to your birthplace. You deserve to have that happiness again, Edmund. And I will not take ‘no’ for an answer!”
“Well, I can not promise you I will accept your gracious offer. But thank you, Jessa. That really means a lot to me. And I just wanted to say, what a wonderful pair you and James make. He seems like a wonderful gentleman, and I am so happy to see you happy again. I thought that I would never see that beautiful smile of yours again, but you wore it all throughout dinner this evening.”
“He makes me feel--” Jessamina stopped. There was really no way to say what she was about to say delicately. “the way you did. When we were in love.”
Edmund nodded sympathetically. “Yes. Well, I should probably head back home now. Get a good night’s rest before opening tomorrow.”
“Yes, of course.” And in a gesture of complete reconciliation, she leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. “Good night, Edmund.”

He smiled shyly, and with a grab of his hat, he was out the door.

Jessamina went to sleep that night with dreams of moonlit strolls and carriage rides through the park. Gone were the nightmares she once had of being forced to watch her father’s brutal torture. They had all been replaced with dreams of James, and the exciting future they would have together. She had never slept more soundly in as far back as she could remember.

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

Autumn had come and gone, and the ghostly chill of December had taken its toll on Jessamina. Instead of using the months following the last encounter with James to get over him, she used it trying to get over a horrible case of influenza. For weeks she was bedridden, unable to move a single muscle without spasms of pain shooting out across her entire body. She was more alone than she ever had been before, even in the weeks immediately after her father’s death. Mr. Shelby was the only person that she allowed to be in the room with her, and that was only because he was mute, and would therefore not give her a headache with incessant chitchat. Mr. Shelby would give her a dose of medication, some hot tea, and then be on his way again, without ever asking her how she was feeling, or when James was going to call again, or whether she missed him.

The truth was that she did miss him. Terribly, in fact. She found herself waking from restless dreams, delirious that James was downstairs, waiting for her. She knew of course that it wasn’t possible, nor did she want him to come back, and yet she found herself wondering why she pushed away the only person left who loved her for who she was. Even when she was little, she could sense that her mother wanted a son. Her mother loved her simply because she was her daughter and she had to. Her father had loved her, and was murdered because he was trying to protect her from a society overrun by criminals. And Edmund had loved her once... but that love was gone now. The only one left was James. James, who could have any woman in the world and chose her because she was different. He chose her because she wasn’t a mindless, spineless girl like Alexis Dubose. She was graceful and elegant, and he was the only one who had made her feel like that in years.

But, as her mother used to say, “what’s done is done.” She knew that in order to complete her mission, sacrifices would have to be made. And if this heartbreak had strengthened anything, it had strengthened her want for revenge. Nothing in the world meant more now, because she had driven any other desires away. Any hours in bed in which she found enough strong enough to sit up, she read her father’s leather bound notebook, searching for details she may have overlooked.

And then, the answer to all her questions had been found. “Collects interesting weaponry and machinery. Greatest hobby.” She had been staring at it the whole time, and never fully comprehended what it meant.

After weeks of planning, she thought she finally may have figured out a plan. She could disguise herself as a man and says she was a weapon’s dealer, interested in selling something to Mr. Blackhorne. The weapon in question would be the steam-inoculator, and the poison would be the very one he wanted in the first place. He would be so intrigued as to who else could have invented this technology that he would have to let her in. After obtaining access, she would give a presentation on the weapon, allowing him to come closer for a better look. Once he got close enough, she would strike, injecting him with the poison, and thus ending the life of the one man who had been on her mind for months.

She would finally have the peace she wanted. After this murder, she would be through. This was the most important piece to the puzzle, and her father would understand if she decided not to cause any more deaths. She told herself that it was because she needed to lay low for a while. A death as monumental as Mr. Blackhorne’s would cause suspicion, and she couldn’t afford being caught.

But she knew the real reason was that she was tired of having to lead these two separate lives. Her time with James reminded her of how desperately she wanted to lead a mundane life again. If she hadn’t been so keen on this revenge in the first place, she may have had a true shot at happiness.

As soon as the world started running smoothly again, as soon as Jessamina had finally become healthy enough to execute her plans, she started them. She knew that Marian had a boy at home who, although many years younger than her was already her height. She stole some of his clothes from a basket of clothing that Marian had brought with her to mend. She knew she would have to forego the cameo brooch since she was dressed as a man, but she still had the knife strapped to her leg for safety. Shoes were a more complicated matter. The only shoes she could find were her father’s old ones, but they were meant for much bigger feet. She stuffed them with newspaper, but even then she found them hard to walk in. She decided to walk with an exaggerated limp, making her awkward walking seem more like a joint problem than a shoe problem.

Finally, she tucked her hair inside one of Marion’s son’s caps, and smudged coal from the fireplace on her face. She admired herself in the mirror. The work wasn’t remarkable, but she decided she was passable enough as a young messenger boy.
She hailed a cab to take her to Mr. Blackhorne’s mansion, and rapped heartily on the front door. A servant answered.

“I have a message for a Mr. Vincent Blackhorne, sir,” Jessamina said in the manliest voice she she could muster. “Regarding a highly interesting weapon he may be interested in purchasing.”
If the servant noticed something peculiar about the young messenger’s mode of dress or speech, he showed no signs of it. “Go on.”
“My master, sir, has recently acquired what he likes to call a steam-inoculator, sir. A very fine specimen, indeed. This weapon can inject a victim with any sort of fluid without leaving a trace. And what’s more, this steam-inoculator comes with a highly rare poison, sir. From the jungles of the Amazon, sir. It’s completely untraceable, and there’s nothing else like it in the entire world. My master is willing to sell this rare and exotic weaponry to Mr. Blackhorne for only five thousand pounds.”
“Five thousand pounds? That’s a bargain! And why is your master willing to sell it for such a low price?”
“Well, it’s rather dangerous, sir, and he’d rather not get caught with it in his belonging, if you know what I mean.”
“I see.”
“For that very reason, my master wants me to deliver the weapon to Mr. Blackhorne in person, to make sure it gets delivered to the proper hands.”
“Understandable.”
“So, if Mr. Blackhorne decides he wants to make this purchase, he need only send a date and time to this address.” At this point, Jessamina riskily gave the servant the address of Edmund’s flat, and went on his way.

Later, after cleaning herself up, she went to her father’s office to speak to Edmund.
“I’m expecting a letter from the Blackhorne residence to be sent to your address within the coming days. When you see it, can you give it to expressly to me?”
“Of course.” Edmund said, without any hesitation.
“You’re not even going to ask me why I’m asking you to do this?”
“I’m sure you have a very good reason, Jessamina. If you needed to tell me, you would tell me.”

And a few days later, she did receive a letter from the Blackhorne residence; just not the one she had hoped. Instead of Edmund handing Jessamina a note of interest in her weapon, her mother handed her an invitation to one of their famed Christmas Balls.

“But, Mother, can’t we go to someone else’s party?” Jessamina protested when her mother showed up to her room with the invitation.
“Absolutely not! This may be your only chance at winning Mr. Blackhorne back. We still have no idea why he stopped courting you so suddenly.”
“He probably found someone else. That’s what typically happens with eligible young bachelors like him; they move on to something better.”
“Nonsense, dear! We shall go to this party and you’ll dance with him.”
“And if even after all that, he chooses not to court me again? Will you promise not to make me attend any more events at the Blackhorne residence?”
“I promise. Now, we’ll have to make a new dress for you to wear. Oh, I know! How about a midnight blue velvet with silver trim! That’ll be certain to make him notice you!”

As just as soon as it had left, the hole in the pit of her stomach returned. She’d have to face him again, and all of her old feelings would come flooding back as soon as she gazed into his eyes again.

The days dragged slowly by, as she wanted to get the whole ordeal over with as soon as possible.

Once she entered the ballroom, she made it her mission to avoid seeing James for as long as possible. If she could just have the very last dance of the evening with him, then she could leave immediately afterward.

Of course that plan didn’t last very long either. The moment she tried to hide herself amongst the many poinsettias strung about the room, she collided with something hard and most definitely alive.

“Jessamina? You came!” He looked actually happy to see her.
“Yes, I did. Thank you so much for inviting my family here tonight. Happy Christmas.”
“Happy Christmas to you, too! My goodness, I still can’t believe that you’re actually here.”
“Should I not have come?”
“Of course you should have! Jessamina, there’s no one I’d rather have here tonight with me. You know that.”
“Oh, I’m sure that’s not true.”
“What do you mean?”
“Perhaps previously, but...I’m certain there’s some other young lady here who has captured your fancy by now.”
“Someone else? Someone other than you take my heart? Jessamina, never! There’s no one else for me but you. I’ve resigned myself to that fate. But I’m happy to have just experienced love at all. I’m just glad you’re not cross with me for inviting you here.”
“I could never be cross with you, James.”
“So we’re still friends?”
“Absolutely.”

He smiled at her. “Say, care to dance with me?”
“I’d be absolutely delighted.”

************************************************

“Father? What is love?” Jessamina asked.
“What makes you ask that?” Mr. Delaney said.
“No reason. Just always wanted to know, I suppose.”

Jessamina is eleven years old, and even after watching Edmund work in her father’s office for only a week, she feels that she could very well be in love with him.

“Well, my little flower, love is... very difficult to describe. It just is what it is.”
“Well, that’s not helpful at all.” She started to leave.
“No, wait, dear! Don’t be so impatient. Let me think for a moment of an example. I’ve got it. You know what the color blue is, right?”
“Of course I do.”
“And the color purple, and orange, and yellow.”
“Yes.”
“You see those colors all around you everyday. You’re very familiar with them.”
“Yes, I do.”
“Good. Now, how would explain the color yellow to a blind child.”
“I’d say it’s the color of daffodils.”
“Ah yes, but she’s never seen a daffodil before, has she? She’s never seen anything before.”
“Then yellow is.. oh. I see.”
“Colors can only defined by things around us. Just like love. Love is an emotion, an incredibly powerful emotion, and when you experience it for the first time, then you’ll know what it is. Everything will start to make sense. You’ll see and hear things differently than you used to, because you’ll be aware that love is all around you.”

“Is that really what love is father?”
“Yes, Jessamina. It really is.”

Then Jessamina knew that what she felt for Edmund was really love. For every time she was near him, she felt incredibly alive and alert.

And for the next three years, she kept this love a secret from Edmund, thinking that the older boy would probably find her rude and annoying if she lingered around his workstation. Little did she know that Edmund possessed the exact same feelings for her as she did for him.

When Jessamina was fourteen years old, she entered the back room of the shop looking for her father, finding a startled Edmund instead.
“Have you seen my father?” she asked.
“No, Miss Jessamina. I mean, yes. He went out to get a few more supplies. But that was two hours ago, he should be back any minute.”
“Yes, well, thank you. And Edmund?”
“Yes, Miss Jessamina?”
“You don’t have to call me ‘miss,’ you know.”

He stared at her with his mouth wide open.
“Well, then what should I call you?” he stammered.
“Anything you like, silly! Only you mustn't be so formal. We’ve known each other for three years now, haven’t we? There’s no need for any of that ‘mister’ or ‘miss’ nonsense between us.”
“Can I call you ‘Jessa’ then? ‘Jessamina’ just takes so long to say, and I always get so nervous when I’m around you that I feel I run out of breath when I to speak to you.”
“‘Jessa’ you said?”
“Yes. Unless you don’t like the name ‘Jessa’.”
“Well, I like it when you say it.” They both blushed at this awkward moment between them. It was the first time they had ever been alone together for more that five minutes, and both of them were very aware of it.
“Edmund? Can I ask you something?”
“Of course! Anything.”
“And will you promise to answer it honestly?”
“Jessa, I would never lie to you.”

She paused for a few moments, trying to think how she should best phrase her question.
“Why do you get nervous when you’re around me?” she whispered.
“I don’t think I can say--”
“You promised! You have to tell me!” she reminded him.
“It’s because... I think I quite fancy you, Jessa.”
“Do you really?”
“Yes, for ages! For one thing, you may be younger than me, and yet you’re far smarter than any girl I’ve ever met. You have a beautiful smile, and your laugh reminds me of the wind-chimes back home in Glasren. Not to mention, you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Even when I first met you, that day at supper--”
“I was so mean to you that day--”
“Yes, but even then, even despite those things you said about me, I couldn’t care less. From the moment I first laid eyes on you I loved you.” His eyes widened in horror at his outburst. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. You’re my employer’s daughter--”
“Edmund, don’t! I love you, too.”
“Really?”
“Honestly and truly.”

**********************************************
James and Jessamina danced, and it was as if no time had passed between them at all. They fell into their old familiar habits of commenting on the other dancers around them. Afterwards, they talked for hours about nothing and yet everything all at once.

“Jessamina? May I talk to you privately, for a moment?” James asked.
“Yes, of course.” He led her to the upper balcony, the very same spot where they had met earlier that year. Snow started to fall in quiet little flakes around them. “What is it, James?”
“You. It’s you! I’m sorry, I thought I would be able be content with us here as friends, but I don’t think I can. I’m a horrible liar. My heart hurts too much for me to pretend that my feelings for you are anything other than what they truly are. I love you, Jessamina. And I need to know if you really think there is no hope for us as a couple. If you say there isn’t, then I promise to never ask you here again, as a friend or otherwise. But if you think that you could one day love me as I love you, then tell me at once!”

And for the first time, Jessamina didn’t even feel guilty that she should feel this way about James. She knew that she was i love, and that her father would be happy that she had found someone who brightened her life. Love outweighs hate by all measures, and her love for James far outweighed any hate for his father. She loved him as she never would love again, of this she was sure.

“It’s isn’t a matter of whether or not I will love you in the future, James. For I am already in love with you now! I have been for ages, and I was just too scared of what I felt to tell the truth. I thought that after my father died I wouldn’t be able to love again. I thought my heart had been lost forever. But you’ve made me find it again, James, and for that I will always be grateful.”

“Do you really mean it, Jessamina? Do you really love me?”
“Yes! Of course I do!”

James leaned in and kissed her, and once again, Jessamina felt as though nothing else in the whole entire world could possibly matter. The winter air may have been frost and cold, but she had all she would ever need to keep her warm. James. James, James, James: with his devilish grin, and his charming laugh and sparkling blue eyes. James, who even after she had rejected him, still loved her.

They stood there in each other’s arms, completely lost in their own little world of that upper balcony. The snow started to accumulate, carpeting the trees with a soft, velvety snowfall. They broke apart, giggling at the amount of snow their clothing had collected.

“People will start to wonder what we’ve been doing out here.” Jessamina teased. “The gossip inside must be frightening.”
“Let those old crones gossip all they want! I don’t care one bit! Soon they won’t have anything to gossip about.”
“What do you mean?”

James kneeled in front of Jessamina and took her hand. “Let’s never be apart again. I can’t spend another day without you. I know that I don’t have a ring with me right now, but I was going to propose with my mother’s old engagement ring, and I can have it ready for you tomorrow, if you’d like.”
“James!”
“Jessamina Delaney, will you marry me and make me the happiest man i the entire world?”
“Of course!”
“You’ll marry me?”
“Yes!”
“But I want to hear you say it!”
Jessamina laughed. “James Blackhorne, I will marry you and love you until the day I die!” she shouted with glee.

James kissed her again, this time with such fervor that Jessamina almost thought she’d be knocked off her feet. He took her hand, and led her back inside.

“Ladies and Gentlemen!” he shouted to the entire ballroom. “I have an announcement to make! Miss Jessamina Delaney and I are now engaged to be married!”

There were cheers and claps from everyone in attendance, with an extra shriek of excitement from her mother.

Jessamina had never been happier in her entire life.

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

Weeks passed, with no sign of James re-entering Jessamina’s life. As much as she hoped that her life would become less complicated with him gone, she found herself constantly distracted and on edge. Even killing Mr. Westing (which she did finally manage to do) only brought her temporary relief. She wanted nothing more than to see him again, to talk with him for hours about philosophy and religion, but it simply wasn’t meant to be. Her days seemed devoid of life and energy, and what was worse; she still hadn’t gotten any closer to dealing with Mr. Blackhorne!

Finally, after two months, there was some correspondence. Jessamina was lying on her bed with a headache, when she heard voices outside her door.
“Addressed to Jessamina?” asked her mother. “But who on earth is it from?”
“Young Mr. Blackhorne, ma’am.” answered Marian.

Jessamina was at the door in an instant, wrapping a dressing gown around herself.
“Give it here,” Jessamina demanded.
“Jessamina, as your mother, I think I should read it first.”
“No! The letter is addressed to me, and I shall be the only one who shall know its contents. I am a grown woman now mother. And although you may have to chaperone me still, you have no say in these private affairs.” She snatched the envelope from Marian and unceremoniously slammed the door, denying them access to her room.

She sat down on her bed, just staring at the envelope in all it’s glory. She admired his penmanship, a nice, steady hand with even strokes, and even a little bit of a flourish when he signed his name. It was all very grand and elegant. It was addressed from Wales, and she opened it with the same fervor as she used to open her christmas presents.

Dearest Jessamina,

Words can not express how much it pains me to be away from you for so long. In the morning, when I wake up, you are all I think about. During the day, as I go about my mundane tasks, it is the thought of our pleasant conversations that keeps me focused. And in the evening, I find myself drifting off to sleep, dreaming of your beautiful face and expressive eyes.

I do not know if you harbor the same feelings as I do for you, but even if I thought you hated me, I can no longer hide my feelings for you.

I'm afraid to say anything that might offend you, for I know that I have not always been able to express myself articulately with you. So instead I'll try to tell you with this silence. When you understand the words I'm not saying, maybe then you can teach me to speak again, like you've taught my heart to love, and my eyes to see.

This separation ends now. I can stand it no longer. I shall return in a fortnight, eagerly waiting at your door that I may kiss your hand again. And if you do not return the sentiment, if you do not feel as strongly for me as I do for you, then let us still remain the dearest of companions. For if I thought I would never hear your sweet voice again, I would surely die of a broken heart.

Sincerely and forevermore yours,
James


Jessamina read the letter over and over again in order to absorb every nuance. Could someone as perfect as James Blackhorne really love an outspoken, idealistic woman like herself? She found it hard to believe it to be true, and yet here it was, written out before her.

“You’ve taught my heart to love, and my eyes to see.” That she could teach James anything was already a notion beyond her wildest dreams. It was she who had learned from him. She had learned that it was possible for her to love again. That it was possible for her to feel alive again after her father died.

And it was for that very reason that she knew that she could no longer see James anymore. She had to cut ties with him. It was dangerous for her to be falling in love with the enemy’s son. In a contest between James and her father, her father would always win. She promised her father to avenge his death far before she ever knew who James Blackhorne was, and a promise like that was not meant to be broken. Vincent Blackhorne had to die, and the only way to ensure his demise was to cause it herself. How could she ever look James in the eyes again, knowing that she had caused him so much pain? It would be better off for the both of them if they never were in each other’s company ever again.

She had made up her mind: the next time she saw him, she would tell him that she had met someone else, and that their relationship would be over. She wanted to write him a letter, but she knew that he was already in transit, and would therefore not receive it before he reached London. Nor did she find it appropriate to simply refuse his calls. She knew that it had to be done in person, or neither of them would feel that it was real.

Exactly two weeks after the letter was sent, James was downstairs in Jessamina’s parlor, while Jessamina was pacing in her room, unsure of how to best phrase her rejection. After deciding that no amount of waiting would prevent the inevitable, she made her way downstairs, absentmindedly holding her cameo brooch for inspiration.

“Marian,” Jessamina said, “Do you think you can leave the two of us alone for a moment?” Jessamina had told her maid beforehand of the unfortunate conversation that was about to occur, and although Marian was incredibly against it, she grudgingly left the room.

James eyes lit up the moment he saw Jessamina standing in front of him. “Jessamina, my sweet angel--”
“James, please, stop. Before you say anything further, there is something I have to say.”
“All right, then. What is it?”
“I’m afraid I can’t see you anymore.”

James stared at her with disbelief, and Jessamina found it very hard to hold her ground and his gaze.
“Did you receive the letter I wrote you?”
“I did, and it was the most sweet and romantic letter I’ve ever received. But, I think it would really be best for both of us if you began courting someone else. I think we simply aren’t suited for each other.”
“Suited for each other? Jessamina, what on earth are you saying? I can’t think of anyone in the entire world who I belong more with! Tell me at once what you’re really thinking?”
“I just think that our relationship can never develop into more than it already has.”
“You’ve met someone else, haven’t you? While I was away.”

She could hear the pain in his voice. Jessamina knew that if she took the easier route out of this horrible situation, he would leave and never come back. Her problems would be solved. But she found she couldn’t lie to him about that-- she knew there would never be anyone else like him.

“No. I haven’t met anyone else. But I don’t think I can reciprocate the feelings that you so eloquently expressed in your letter. Truly, James, it would be better if you found some other girl to fancy. Believe me, there are other young ladies out there who would give their right hand to be courted by you.”

“Jessamina. Are really saying that you don’t care for me the way I care for you?”
“Yes. I am.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, with Jessamina’s eyes downcast on the floor and James’ head in his hands. After what seemed like an eternity, James stood up and walked towards her.

“All right. If that’s truly how you feel, then obviously I will respect your wishes. I can only imagine how difficult this conversation was for you, being the polite lady that you are. As always, I admire you for your level-headedness. It’s a quality I used to possess, but I’ve found that you’ve taken that from me. Grant me one last request though, Jessamina?”
“What is it?”
“Come to the opera with me tomorrow. I bought the two of us tickets to Die Fledermaus, which I know is your favorite of all of Strauss’ works.”
“James, I really don’t find that appropriate.”
“Not as lovers. Accompany me as a friend. A friend who shares similar tastes in music with me. Please. I wouldn’t want to share this experience with anyone but you. And after that, you’ll never have to see me again. I promise.”
Could she really trust herself to spend an evening with James and not fall more in love with him? The answer to the question was a resounding “no”. But she also knew she wasn’t ready to have him gone from her life so soon. She would use this opportunity to create memories of James that she would remember for the rest of her life.
“You promise?” Jessamina asked.
“On my honor, yes.”
“Fine. What time would you like me to be ready?”
“Five o’clock.”
“Fine. I shall be ready and waiting.”
“Jessamina, thank you for this.

At five o’clock, James was waiting, bright-eyed and eager as he ever was. As much as it pained her. Jessamina was careful not to smile to widely, or laugh at his sparkling wit, or speak any more than she usually did. In fact, she spent of the carriage ride over speaking to her mother, who was also invited along as a chaperone. Of course, her mother was enjoying this experience immensely, not having been told that this was the last time James and Jessamina would see each other. Mrs. Delaney thought this was just a beginning of another relationship, rather than the end of one.

After some time in the carriage with James staring at Jessamina fondly and Jessamina pretending not to notice, the carriage jolted to a halt.
“We have arrived, sir.” The coachman proclaimed. James held out his hand to help Jessamina out of carriage, and although she did not want to take it, she knew she had no other choice. She tried to distract herself from the feel of his hand on hers by peering up at the magnificent building in front of her.

***************************************************

“Father, you can’t be serious!” Jessamina squealed.
“I am, my dear!” Mr. Delaney said. “Tonight, you and I are going to the opera, and we’re sitting in the best seats!”

It was the Christmas before Jessamina turned seventeen. Her father’s favorite pastime was going to the opera, but in recent years, they found they simply could afford to anymore. It was because of this lack of funds that Jessamina was so astonished to be presented with two tickets on such short notice. She looked at them and gasped when she saw where they were being seated.

“Father, How did you even manage to procure box tickets? Aren’t those reserved for the royal family?”
“And the incredibly wealthy.”
“And we are neither of those things.”
“True, quite true. But, I am a physician to some incredibly wealthy people. And sometimes, when those people offer incredible opera tickets as payment for my services, I don’t decline them!”
“Who did these belong to?”
“I honestly have no idea. They were delivered to us this morning by a servant who said his master wanted to remain anonymous. Sometimes, people wish to not be thanked for their good deeds. I suppose my patient was one of those sorts of men. At any rate, we have to get ready! Come on then, get dressed, we’re going to the opera!”

Mrs. Delaney found that watching theatrical events were a waste of time.
“After all,” she often said, “why get dressed up if you can’t even talk to anyone while the event is going on?”
Even Edmund didn’t particularly enjoy those sorts of affairs, although he humored Jessamina any time she wanted to talk about them.

It was for this reason that going to the opera, or to the theatre, or to orchestral concerts, were father-daughter activities. A chance to remember how special their bond was.

Jessamina might have been sixteen years old, but she still enjoyed going to the opera house as much as she did when she was six. Each time she stepped inside the building and saw those magnificent curtains frame the proscenium, a chill ran up her spine. She couldn’t imagine what it must be like to stand on that stage and have hundreds of faces staring back at you, eagerly awaiting to hear the sounds that came out of your mouth. Her mother said a life in the theatre was considered a life of a scoundrel, but Jessamina found the whole ordeal to be incredibly glamorous.

From the moment she sat in the top left box, she felt as if she were some sort of queen. She gazed out over the stage admiring every detail and soaking it up, as if she knew that it was the last time she’d be there in a very long time. She also looked across from her, as a wrinkly old man with a long beard sat in the box directly opposite hers. She waved at him unceremoniously, but the old man didn’t notice, as seemed to be peering out into nothingness.

Jessamina and her father watched the opera in silence, her head fitting comfortably against his shoulder. Even after she became a young woman, he was so much taller and stronger than her that she felt like a little girl when next to him. She loved that feeling, for sometimes she grew weary of the many obligations she had, and she longed to be a just a simple child again. She longed to be small enough to sit in her father’s lap and have him read stories to her. She longed to dance with him they way she used to, with him picking her up and twirling her around the room. But since she couldn’t travel backwards in time, she settled for siting with him in the box, letting waves of gorgeous operatic sound wash over them. She let him smooth her hair with his hand, not even minding that it would remove the pins she had so carefully arranged. She remembered this feeling of complete contentment in the years to come, when the thought that her father was really gone became utterly unbearable.

***************************************************
The royal opera house was just as beautiful as she always remembered it, despite having not seen it in four years. Driving past it simply reminded her of her father, and their last outing together. But somehow this time, the sight of it’s beauty brought back only the good memories she had of the place. She loved its ornate marble columns, gleaming white from the glow of street-lamps. She loved the busyness of Bow Street right before a show started, when people from all walks of life were clutching their tickets in their fist, eager to step inside away from the cold.

“Shall we go in?” James asked, offering his arm to escort her.
Jessamina nodded her head, but pointedly refused to touch him. James didn’t seem to fully grasp the fact that this was not a romantic evening, but rather a farewell.
“I managed to get us box seats.” James remarked.
“Really?” Jessamina tried not to let her voice betray her excitement. “Must have cost you a fortune.”
“I think that an opera of this magnitude deserves to be fully appreciated. If that means shelling out a few more notes for better seats, than it’s an investment well made. But I confess, when I bought these tickets, I bought them with the assumptions we would be on... shall we say, friendlier terms.”
“Oh, James, I’m sorry--”
“But regardless, I’m more than happy to share them with someone who will appreciate them as much as I will. My father never enjoys these sorts of things, so I rarely have the opportunity to go the theatre.”
“Really. For me it’s quite the opposite.” She leaned closer to stage whisper to him. “It’s my mother who hates the theatre.”
“I heard that!” Mrs. Delaney huffily shouted from behind them. “She’s not telling the truth! I just normally have better things to do with my time than to watch grown men in tights prance around and sing to each other. And those women! They’re nothing but jezebels, the lot of them.”

Both James and Jessamina stifled their laughs with their gloved hands.
“Of course, Mrs. Delaney. I understand completely.” James said, with as much composure as he could muster.
“Yes, mother, we’re sorry you were forced to come with us. You could have sent Marian to be my chaperone, you know.”
“Yes, yes, I’m sure you’d love to be rid of me. Well, that’s all fine and dandy in the house, but in public, the mother is always the chaperone. I won’t let you tarnish you your reputation.”


James and Jessamina entered their box seats on the top left and sat down at the front, while Mrs. Delaney decided to give them privacy and sit two rows behind them.

They watched the opera in silence only breaking it to give applause after the big arias. But Jessamina found that sitting so close to James reminded her too much of sitting with her father at the opera. All too often she found herself wanted to rest her head on his shoulder and breathe in his familiar scent. It took all the strength she could muster to stay focused on the show and not be distracted by how close their bodies were to touching. She could almost feel the heat radiating off of him, and it terrified her. She realized at once what a horrible mistake it was to come here with him; not for his sake, but for hers. Being there just reminded her how much she would desperately miss these moments.

After the opera was over, they spent the carriage ride discussing the nuances of the arias and orchestrations while Mrs. Delaney slept soundly (music bored her immensely).

“Well, here we are, Jessamina. Your house.” James said sadly.
“So it is. Thank you, James for the lovely evening.”
“And thank you, for being so lovely.” He glanced over at Mrs. Delaney, who was still fast asleep. “I’ll miss you, Jessamina. I don’t think you’ll ever know how much you mean to me.” He reached out a hand to tuck a loose curl behind her ear. “Goodbye, Jessamina.”
“Goodbye, James. I hope you find someone better. Someone who can make you happy.” And with that, she woke up her mother, and stumbled out of the carriage, certain she would never see James again.

Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

The next day, Jessamina was awoken by a knock at her door.

“Miss Jessamina?” Marian’s muffled voice came from beyond the room. “There’s a visitor coming here to see you.”

Jessamina grumble and rolled over in her bed, too exhausted from the previous night’s activities to care about making an appearance.

“Miss Jessamina? It’s young Mr. Blackhorne here to see you.”

At the mention of his name, she began to wake fully. “Come again?” Jessamina asked.

“A note was just delivered, reading that Mr. Blackhorne was coming here to call on you. He’ll be here any moment!”
“Well, for heaven’s sake, don’t just stand there! Come in and help get me dressed!”

Jessamina had never rushed this fast to get ready in her entire life. She picked what she thought was her most modest outfit, a pink satin, so as to not appear to thrilled about his appearance. The last thing she wanted was for James to think that she had been waiting for him ever since that night at the ball.

Marian had finished buttoning up the back of Jessamina’s dress just in time: the was a smart knock on the door. Marian squealed in delight and rushed downstairs to answer it before Mr. Shelby did.

“May I help you, sir?”
“Yes, thank you. I’m here to see Miss Jessamina Delaney. Is she here this afternoon?”
“Why, I believe she is. Please, let Mr. Shelby escort you to the parlor, while I go fetch her.”
“Thank you very much.”

Marian rushed upstairs. “Miss Jessamina, I just realized your mother has gone out to run some errands. Shouldn’t she be present during this visit?”
“Well, can’t you just chaperone me, Marian? I’m sure she wouldn’t mind, considering how eager she’s been for him to call on me.”
“I suppose so.”
“All you have to do is stand there and be silent. I’ll do the talking.” And with that, Jessamina walked as calmly as she could to the parlor.

“Miss Jessamina! So good to see you again,” James remarked as he rose from the couch.
“The pleasure is mine. Please, have a seat.”
“Is your mother not in?”
“Unfortunately not. You could come back another time if you’d prefer.”
“I was keen on making a proper introduction to your mother today, but I suppose it can wait another day. After all, the real reason I’m here is to apologize to you.”
“Oh? What for?”
“What for? For not calling on you sooner! I would have, only I was out of London taking care of some of my father’s business. I’ve only just returned.”
“Today?” Jessamina asked. She hoped she wouldn’t catch him in a lie.
“No, yesterday morning, actually. You see, my father has been rather frivolous with his spending the past few years, wasting it on his unnecessary collections. He also tends to lend money to the most bizarre men, men who any sane person could tell would never be able to pay him back. Honestly, I don’t know why he associates himself with these people.”

Jessamina wanted to tell him that it was because he was a member of a horrific crime organization, but she kept her mouth shut.

“At any rate, my father has been quite ill recently, and I’ve temporarily become the keeper of his affairs. I took it upon myself to straighten out his financial issues, so that when he returns to his good health, he can see his fortunes restored. I’ve travelled all across England, tracking down these rascals, and, I’m ashamed to say, threatening them with my fists!”
“I can’t imagine you threatening anyone!”
“Yes, well, neither could they, considering none of them seemed very distressed at my warning. Nevertheless, I did manage to obtain some of my father’s money back, with promises of future payments.”
“Well, that’s a very good thing for you to do for your father, James.”
“Yes, well, it was incredibly difficult for me, knowing that I would have to postpone my seeing you again. Believe me, there was nothing I wanted more than to see your beautiful face again. But, it had to be done. Now, will you say that you forgive me for how incredibly cold I’ve been these past few weeks? I couldn’t bear it if you were cross with me.” To prove his point he put a comical pout on his face.

Jessamina laughed. “I forgive you.”
“Wonderful! Now, I’m afraid I’m going to have to leave you again. But never fear! I will be back tomorrow, if you will allow it.”
“I look forward to your visit.”

He kissed her hand. “Farewell, sweet Jessamina.” And with a wink to Marian, he was gone.

“What a charming young man he is!” Marian exclaimed.
“Indeed he is.”
“And you danced with him four times at the ball? My, how happy your mother will be when she hears about this.” And with that, Marian was off to spread gossip with all of her friends.

James returned the next day, and the days following that. For three weeks straight, he did nothing but call on Jessamina in her parlor. And despite how little they had known each other, they never ran out of conversation topics. From current events to the state of monarchy, Jessamina was able to express herself articulately.

“You don’t mind that I have opinions on these subjects? All my life, I’ve been told that women should only be seen and not heard.”
“That’s what I admire about you Jessamina. You’re not like any girl I’ve ever met before. You’re not afraid to break the rules. All my life I’ve been surround by women who don’t have the wits to speak for themselves. They simply nod their heads and agree with whichever gentleman speaks first. You have a good head on your shoulders, and I’m glad that you don’t keep all your thoughts to yourself. It would be a shame to keep such a brilliant mind from seeing the light of day.”
“You must have had a very strong mother to have instilled such thoughts in you.”
“I did. My mother was an incredible woman. Strong. Independent. Loud. Full of life. Actually, she was completely unlike what my father’s opinion of a perfect wife should be.”
“Really?”
“My father had married my mother simply based on her wealth. There was no love of any kind involved. In fact, I doubt they even met at all before their wedding day. It was simply a financial contract uniting two wealthy families to create an even wealthier one. And seeing as though they both hated each other, my mother felt no need to keep up any sort of appearances for my father. If she disagreed with my father, she made sure to tell him so. In fact, I’d say she made more of the decisions for the household than he did.”
“Well, that’s very common nowadays, for the woman to make the majority of household decisions.”
“Yes, but even decisions regarding the financials. She was very frugal with her money, unlike my father. I think I take more after her in every respect. Her sense of humor, her vivacity. Her tenaciousness. Her attitudes towards politics, religion, and finances. I’m quite opposite of my father in every way.”
“I take it you don’t like your father very much. But he seems so well loved by the community.”
“He is not as he seems to be. Everyone assumes that he’s this eccentric, wealthy man. But I know him better than that. There’s a method to his madness, I can tell. Unfortunately, he so shuts me out of his life that I find it nearly impossible to connect with him. He’s not a bad man, you know, he’s just... if only he would tell me what his problems are, I could maybe help him.”
“Some men just refuse to seek help from others. They are simply to stubborn to realize that there are people out there who care for them and look out for them.”
“Well, I’m not one of those men. I know just how important friends are to one’s happiness.” He locked eyes with Jessamina. “How important love is.”

Jessamina struggled to find something to say that would diffuse the silence. “More tea?” she stammered ungracefully.

“No thank you. Tell me, Jessamina, what of your parents?”
“How do you mean?”
“I mean, your parents were they very similar to one another? Did they get along?”
“Oh well, I suppose so. I mean, yes, they were very much in love when they first married, I think.”
“So their marriage was not an arranged one?”

*************************************************

“Happy anniversary, my love!” Mr. Delaney called from the next room. “Can you believe we’ve been married for ten years?”

A five year old Jessamina and her mother are sitting in the drawing room by the fire, relaxing after a thoroughly delicious dinner.

“Hardly, my dear.” Mrs. Delaney replied. “Why it seems that only yesterday I was a cute little chickadee, like this one here.” She patted Jessamina’s head with pride.

“You still are, Eleanora. You still are. Now, close your eyes.”
“Charles, enough with these silly games!”
“They are not silly! They are very important! Now, close your eyes.”

Mrs. Delaney did as she was told (just this once) and covered her eyes with her dainty little hands. Mr. Delaney entered the room with one hand behind his back, and one hand pressed against his mouth warning Jessamina to stay quiet. Jessamina giggled and curled up tighter against her mother.

“What’s going on, Charles? Why is Jessamina laughing?”
“Just keep your eyes closed.”
“For how much longer? This is absolutely ridiculous behavior, Charles. I demand to know what you’re doing this instant.”
“Alright you may open your eyes now, if you insist.”

When Mrs. Delaney opened her eyes, he pulled out a small black velvet box from behind his back. Mrs. Delaney gasped in surprise.
“Well, go on then, don’t just stare at it!” he teased. “Open it.”

She did. Inside was a beautiful pair of amethyst and pearl drop earrings hanging from a gold setting.

“Charles! Why they’re-- they’re--”
“The exact same earrings from that night, yes. You can’t imagine how long it’s taken for me to track them down.”

“Mummy! Let me see! Can I see them, please?” Jessamina eagerly asked.
“Of course, darling! Here they are.” she lay them out on her skirt. “You see, Jessamina, there’s a story behind these earrings. When your father and I first met, we were both attending a ball of a mutual acquaintance. We danced once--”

“But your mother was a highly sought after dance partner. All the young men there were lining up to sign her dance card.”
“And your father was a rakish fellow, with all the ladies swooning after him. So, I thought that nothing else would come of it. But, after a few hours of dancing I began to feel incredibly weary. So, I made my way onto the balcony, alone, to get some fresh air. Well, for some bizarre reason, my earrings came undone, and they fell into the trees and bushes below. I was horrified, because they were my favorite earrings, and very expensive ones at that. I suppose I was so distressed that I let out a little cry of desperation, and who should come bounding towards me but your father!”
“I thought that perhaps she had fallen, you see.”
“Well, I told your father what had happened to my beautiful earrings, and how ruined everything was because I had lost them, and your father said--”
“You don’t need them. You’re beautiful with or without those earrings.”
“I, of course, was immediately smitten with him, but I tried to be as coy as possible--”
“Your mother was quite a flirt--”
“I told him that I would forever love the man who could make me feel as beautiful as those earrings did.”
“And I said that I would certainly try my best.”

“And from that day on, we were inseparable, Jessamina! We were so very much in love!”
“We still are, my dear. And I hope that you never forget how lovely you are, with or without these earrings.” He kissed his wife on the forehead. Her eyes glimmered with tears.

“You remind me every day, Charles. How did you even find these?”
“Years and years of searching every fine jewelry store in London. Your parents never could remember where they had gotten them from, so I just asked around, until I finally managed to find an old man who had made the very same pair! He had only made that one, but he said that he still remembered the pattern, and he would be delighted to make them again.” Charles winked. “I told you I’m the best at giving gifts, aren’t I?”
“I still can’t believe that you even remembered after all these years!”
“I’d never forget something as important to you as this, darling. Never. I love you, Eleanora.”
“I love you, too, Charles.”

*****************************************
“They loved each other until the end,” Jessamina said. “They fought and argued as all couples do, but I don’t think they ever lost their love. The bond that connected them at first sight.”
“That’s truly something remarkable, Jessamina. Not many people can say that their parents were so lucky.”
Jessamina wondered if James knew how much those words stung. To have someone she cared about ripped from her so thoroughly; and by James’ father, no less. Jessamina could hardly consider any of her fortunes good at the moment. “Yes. I suppose we were lucky.”

James realized the error in his speech.
“Oh, Jessamina, that’s not to say-- I didn’t mean to say that you were fortunate in your situation. You’ve dealt with tremendous hardship.”
“Please, James, I’m fine. I’d rather not talk about my father right now. It’s too... strange. Please, let’s move on to other subjects.”
“Actually, I should be on my way. My father is expecting me.”
“Ah, I see. Well, I look forward to seeing you again tomorrow then.”
“I’m sorry for what I’ve said. Truly, it was careless and in incredibly bad taste.”
“James, you’re forgiven. I promise.”

As much as Jessamina wanted to hate James for his words, she found she couldn’t. He was too earnest, too kind to be cross with for too long. In fact, the more he came to visit her, the less she could resist seeing him again. Each visit made her long to speak with him and to hear his voice. For the first time in a long time, Jessamina found someone who she thought she could truly communicate with. She used to be able to have those talks with her father, but those days of intimacy were long gone. In those short visits with James, she forgot that she was a woman with a vendetta against his father, she was simply a young lady again, like she was before he father’s death.

But her father had died. That was a fact that could never be changed. And so as long as she managed to gain a piece of information about Vincent Blackhorne with each visit, she felt that she wasn’t betraying her promise to her father yet. This mission would just take longer than her other ones had. She would get to look him in the eye sooner or later, she was sure of it.

The next day, James entered the house and smiled at her and all was forgiven. They discussed literature and poetry for the rest of the afternoon, avoiding the delicate subject of her father. They found that they had very similar interests in their leisure activities. For instance, both James and Jessamina enjoyed reading the novels written by Mr. Charles Dickens and Mr. Oscar Wilde, and despised those written by Mr. Thomas Hardy and Mr. George Gissing. They also both shared a fondness for the poetry written by Mr. and Mrs. Robert Browning.

“Even reading just one of their poems, you can tell how much love and respect they had for each other. Their works are just brimming with romance and passion.” Jessamina said.
“Agreed. And to think she originally thought he couldn’t possibly love her, simply because she was older.”
“As if any age difference can make any impact on true love!”
“Exactly. Love blossoms without any care as to which two people foster it.”
“Precisely! Honestly, James it’s as if you can read my mind.”
“I can’t believe it’s taken all this time for me to know you, Jessamina. To think how different our lives would be if they had intersected earlier.”

Different, indeed. Perhaps if James and Jessamina had known each other a few years earlier, Vincent Blackhorne would have taken pity on his son’s young friend. Perhaps he would have spared her father’s life. If they had met a few years earlier, perhaps she never would have given her heart away to Edmund at all.

Edmund. Jessamina honestly hadn’t thought about Edmund in ages. During the first few visits from James, all she could think about was how she never got to have these courting experiences with Edmund; they were always hiding their love from the world. She found herself wondering at what point she no longer cared about her previous love of her life.

“While I am I, and you are you,
So long as the world contains us both,
Me the loving and you the loth,
While the one eludes, must the other pursue.”

Jessamina was startled out of her reverie. “Pardon?”

“One of Mr. Robert Browning’s poems. I believe it’s called ‘Life in a Love’.”
“Ah yes, I remember that one.”
“It’s my favorite of all of his works. I just love his idea that so long as he and his love are living, nothing can prevent them from being together. Isn’t that remarkable?”
“Quite.”

“Well, I’m afraid I must go. We’ve been talking for nearly an hour you know.”
“Have we? Well, James, I can never seem to keep track of time when you’re around.”
“Nor I around you. You distract me terribly, you know.” Jessamina blushed. “Unfortunately, I won’t be able to visit for a while. It seems I must make another round of visits to my father’s acquaintances.”
“So soon?”
“Believe me, I would much rather spend my time here admiring you. But yes, the time has come for me to embark on another journey.”
“For how long?”
“I wish I could say. But any time frame I gave you would be a mere guess, and I would hate to lie to you were my guess not accurate.”
“I see.”
“But, mark my words, Jessamina, when I’m back, you’re the first person I intend to visit.” He kissed her hand. “Goodbye, Jessamina. I’ll think of you.”

And so began another period of waiting, this one more agonizing than the first.